The first theme of meditation is the Lady of the Black Veil. In this theme, the effect we want to produce as a feeling-emotion is abhorrence, which is not an act commonly practiced in our daily lives and, very rarely, we abhor. We are not used to abhor unless we have a strong inclination against something.
Sometimes we can ask ourselves: Why do I have to abhor? Why do I have to generate such a strong high, and not just disgust?
If we make an analogy, we could think that we are like a sheet of paper. When we have a very consolidated habit or are strongly attracted to something we feel and would not like to continue doing, we function as if we cannot discern our own and choose not to reiterate or relapse. It is in a vicious circle already known, in which we repeat, continuously, "I must not do it" and I end up doing it.
If we make an analogy, we could think that we are like a sheet of paper. This habit or trend works like the crease we make on paper through a fold. And once we have a habit – or in the case of paper, the crease of a fold – even if we smooth the paper, it tends to resume the crease marked. So, the only way to stop this trend is to take the crease as a reference and make a fold, at least of the same intensity and in the opposite direction. It is necessary to exaggerate the reaction to balance the trend – which is also exaggerated, in another direction. So, it is with our conduct. That is why I must abhor the habit or trend that I am working on this topic.
Abhorrence is not anger, anger, or dissatisfaction directed at oneself. Nor is it denial, repulsion or aversion to the habit or tendency that we choose to work on. Abhorrence represents the necessary force that is applied to reorient an established habit or tendency that has not been denied, and that no longer has the intention or need to maintain it.
What is worth abhorrence when we meditate on the theme of "The Lady with the Black Veil" is not something that could be presented as "the devil tempting me", but what I have discovered in myself that I insist on doing, or that I am used to doing, and that go against or do not support what I have chosen to do with my life. In other words, in "The Lady with the Black Veil" we take the first step to discern what I want to feed to give more fullness to what we choose to do with our lives.
We begin by visualizing this situation in which we do the opposite of what our feelings, our heart, and our vocation ask of us. These are the broad outlines of the imaginative picture that we need to make to avoid the repetition that is now unwanted. At this point, we generate an emotional reaction so that we are no longer satisfied with repeating this habit or tendency. We can act like this from food that is bad for us, to and especially what is bad for our life. It is not that the devil is tempting us to divert us from our vocation, but it is we ourselves who have tendencies to do things, not at all spiritualizing, and converging to the meaning we want to give our life.
That is, more than imagining the Black Veiled Lady as a being by our side, it is necessary to visualize her as ourselves, doing what goes against what we would like to do. We focus on the typical attitudes of self-sabotage. It's as if we wanted to run a marathon by walking backwards. It will not be possible. We're going to stumble, we will fall, and we're not going to get anywhere. So, what we need to do is not just anything.
However, there is a risk embedded in this, which is to remark the image of ourselves doing what we no longer want to do, to the point that, in the end, we end up giving strength to what we do not want, by repeating this image. So, I must generate an image of what we want to do. That is why we cannot dwell too much on the Black Veiled Lady. We need to balance it, then, with what we would like to do, with the direction we choose to give our life. We can already do this in the other themes, such as in the Two Roads, or in the Standard, that is, where we glimpse where we want to go. In this way, we immediately balance with what we don't want to do, so as not to strengthen what we no longer want. So, when it comes to a habit, or a habitual tendency, that we repeat every day, and again, and again, and the way to do it is not just to abhor me, but to generate another habit, looking for what can, at this moment, help me not only to do something opposite, but rather, the best. And the way to overcome what I don't want to do is to generate what I do want to do, now it appears, including the exercise of the other themes of meditation.
Sometimes we can ask ourselves: Why do I have to abhor? Why do I have to generate such a strong high, and not just disgust?
If we make an analogy, we could think that we are like a sheet of paper. When we have a very consolidated habit or are strongly attracted to something we feel and would not like to continue doing, we function as if we cannot discern our own and choose not to reiterate or relapse. It is in a vicious circle already known, in which we repeat, continuously, "I must not do it" and I end up doing it.
If we make an analogy, we could think that we are like a sheet of paper. This habit or trend works like the crease we make on paper through a fold. And once we have a habit – or in the case of paper, the crease of a fold – even if we smooth the paper, it tends to resume the crease marked. So, the only way to stop this trend is to take the crease as a reference and make a fold, at least of the same intensity and in the opposite direction. It is necessary to exaggerate the reaction to balance the trend – which is also exaggerated, in another direction. So, it is with our conduct. That is why I must abhor the habit or trend that I am working on this topic.
Abhorrence is not anger, anger, or dissatisfaction directed at oneself. Nor is it denial, repulsion or aversion to the habit or tendency that we choose to work on. Abhorrence represents the necessary force that is applied to reorient an established habit or tendency that has not been denied, and that no longer has the intention or need to maintain it.
What is worth abhorrence when we meditate on the theme of "The Lady with the Black Veil" is not something that could be presented as "the devil tempting me", but what I have discovered in myself that I insist on doing, or that I am used to doing, and that go against or do not support what I have chosen to do with my life. In other words, in "The Lady with the Black Veil" we take the first step to discern what I want to feed to give more fullness to what we choose to do with our lives.
We begin by visualizing this situation in which we do the opposite of what our feelings, our heart, and our vocation ask of us. These are the broad outlines of the imaginative picture that we need to make to avoid the repetition that is now unwanted. At this point, we generate an emotional reaction so that we are no longer satisfied with repeating this habit or tendency. We can act like this from food that is bad for us, to and especially what is bad for our life. It is not that the devil is tempting us to divert us from our vocation, but it is we ourselves who have tendencies to do things, not at all spiritualizing, and converging to the meaning we want to give our life.
That is, more than imagining the Black Veiled Lady as a being by our side, it is necessary to visualize her as ourselves, doing what goes against what we would like to do. We focus on the typical attitudes of self-sabotage. It's as if we wanted to run a marathon by walking backwards. It will not be possible. We're going to stumble, we will fall, and we're not going to get anywhere. So, what we need to do is not just anything.
However, there is a risk embedded in this, which is to remark the image of ourselves doing what we no longer want to do, to the point that, in the end, we end up giving strength to what we do not want, by repeating this image. So, I must generate an image of what we want to do. That is why we cannot dwell too much on the Black Veiled Lady. We need to balance it, then, with what we would like to do, with the direction we choose to give our life. We can already do this in the other themes, such as in the Two Roads, or in the Standard, that is, where we glimpse where we want to go. In this way, we immediately balance with what we don't want to do, so as not to strengthen what we no longer want. So, when it comes to a habit, or a habitual tendency, that we repeat every day, and again, and again, and the way to do it is not just to abhor me, but to generate another habit, looking for what can, at this moment, help me not only to do something opposite, but rather, the best. And the way to overcome what I don't want to do is to generate what I do want to do, now it appears, including the exercise of the other themes of meditation.